Are You Following a Script or Writing Your Own Life Story?

Ever feel like you're stuck in the same patterns—same kind of relationships, same career issues, same inner voice saying “you’re not good enough”? What if I told you that you might be following a script you wrote when you were five years old?  A bit scary right?

Welcome to the world of Transactional Analysis—a psychological framework that helps us understand how we interact with others and ourselves. One of its most interesting (and most eye-opening) ideas is the life script.

What’s a Life Script?

Imagine your life is a movie. Now imagine that the plot, the character traits, and even the ending were drafted when you were a toddler. Sounds balmy, right?

A life script is an unconscious life plan we create in early childhood, based on the messages we get from parents, caregivers, and the world around us. These messages—like “be perfect,” “don’t speak up,” or “you’re not lovable”—get internalized and shape how we see ourselves and how we behave.

It’s like your brain downloaded the blueprint for the rest of your life and you blindly follow it.

What does this look like in Real Life?

Let’s say you have a script that whispers, “I’m not OK.” You might:

• Avoid taking risks because you fear getting it wrong.

• Choose partners who reinforce your low view of yourself.

• Loose trust in yourself and your decision making abilities.

Or maybe your script says, “I’m on my own,” So you never ask for help, even when you're drowning in stress.

These aren’t just personality quirks—they’re patterns rooted in your early emotional programming.

Spotting Your Script

Here is an exercise to try: Think about the recurring themes in your life. Are you always the helper? The fixer? The one who gets left behind?

Ask yourself:

• What did I learn about myself from my parents or early caregivers?

• What beliefs do I hold about relationships, success, or worthiness?

• What’s the “story” I keep telling myself?

These clues can help you uncover your script.

Rewriting the Script

Good news: You’re not stuck with the script forever. Therapy can help you focus on script analysis, which helps you:

• Identify the limiting beliefs.

• Understand where they came from.

• Replace them with healthier, more empowering narratives.

It’s like editing your life’s screenplay—cutting out the unwanted dialogue and replacing it with more helpful lines.

Last Thoughts

We all have scripts. Some are uplifting and helpful whilst others are limiting and damaging. The magic lies in realizing you’re the author—and you can rewrite the story anytime. 

So next time you catch yourself in a familiar loop, pause and ask: “Is this really me, or just my old script talking?”